Tag Archives: money

The view from the back of a lecture.



I am sat two chairs in on the back row. I see the backs of heads staring desperately day-dreaming, unwillingly trying to shrug the hangover from the previous nights alcohol consumption – sweltering among body heat, broken radiators and insulation – heat only comparable to a scene from the puzzling pig-masking, murder mystery thriller Saw.

Rustling handouts, proceeded to interupt the lecturer spreading yet more ephemeral words to non-concentrate recipients, sporting a vibrant discombobulation half golf and half hiking attire – from top to bottom. Unrelenting waves of yawns, creaks and sighs flooded the room erupting like volcanoes and dampening the already disinterested crowd, followed by whispers from a rowdy bunch near the front row – not so very quietly telling others of the blast she’d had with her gal-pals – it sounded like suffocating, scrambling for air as you panic, wish and hope but in your last moments think of doubt, fear and somewhat acceptance.

Students scattered in twos and three clinging like pack animals; I was alone. On my right the incessant tapping of mac books distract me from the task at hand; concentration. My eyes drift and land on a helping hand, the co-managing lecturer, of the subject, sits beside the entrance. Her hair mangled and untamed, like a student, broken and unappreciated she smirks chortling merrily compressing the disfigured wrinkly-skin hanging from her chin.

My mind drifts pacing slowly towards the window, there is a gap that only appears every so often from an inadequate breeze slowly creeping in pushing the blackened blind from its purpose. There is a fence towering above a puddle. Sometimes a bird will sit in it, often it doesn’t, but sometimes it stands perplexed holding its chest out looking nonchalant in a stationary manner. With no pen and paper I sat trying to must some sort of aspiration to maintain my attention.

The fact the slides were in widescreen mode wasn’t aiding my cause, an apology had been issued but technical appliances can only absorb so much incompetence from human users. His words sail awkwardly across the room, comfortably piercing our auditory receptors.

Purple, pink and blue, rest aggressively asserting in the corner of my eye. I turn facing this multi-coloured monster. Slabbed, draped and inconclusively strawberry short-cake splattered clown look-a-like wearing fake-glasses the size of the moon. She sits slumped chewing her necklace, when her phone vibrates. She instantly picks up, unlocks and replies to her “lover” ending the message in the more X’s than Simpson Halloween specials!

The time finally runs out, and coming to the end of something unbearably uninteresting could never have felt better, only afterwards realizing that I just paid £103 to not pay an ounce of attention.

Marvin’ at University


For the past month, I have been so very low on funds that I have discovered I like beans on toast – the cheese helps. I have only regret, financially, about the past six months. It has been a frivolous campaign of unnecessary expenditure (fast food, alcohol anything other than nutrition), I had a whale of a time, however I have now almost come to the end of this journey with only enough coins to purchase bread and value tins of beans – I’ve been secretly stealing cheese from my housemates.  

It appears pride had issued myself a sweet blow to the chest, as a retort, for waving my overdraft in the face of social adversity. Even with the best intentions of obtaining a disposable income competition, availability and experience have dictated otherwise, and so I am left in this predicament. 

So instead of denying my inept financial woes, I have decided to celebrate my toast and beans diet, and label it the Boast diet – get it. My initial worries were incomparable flatulence, but after a week or so the results reside neither side of anything other than normal. However, because of such a poor diet, weight loss has also ensued, not a substantial amount but It has definitely made a difference. So if you’re feeling larger than normal, not got enough cash in your pocket or want to save some pounds and pennies then take a bean from the book of poor financial decisions – spread the boast! – Pun intended. 

Why bother?


I often feel as though I am drifting through life, asking question after question, studying why and how things do the things they do, and yet, I still don’t have the answers. After asking countless lecturers, with PHD’s, they cannot often agree on the degree of correctness that my questions has provoked. So, maybe it isn’t about finding answers and knowing everything there is to know about how and why linguistically, style can affect the word choice of a, [Lower middle class] speaker and change their idiolect almost immediately. Instead of asking: Why does that even matter? Should it matter?

You must understand by now that everything that we believe in is fabricated, conjured, manipulated and artificially decided by the beholder of a “new discovery”. When there was nothing but settlements in England haggling and bargaining for sustenance, cattle, tools and everything else you can think of; money was created to fix the fluctuation and uncertainty of trying to “buy” something. This ideology is huge in western society, not a day goes by when I don’t “buy” something from a supermarket (also synthetic). The physical representation of buying and selling items fuels the way we live now and however convenient it may be to go online and purchase clothes or food it is still not real, well it is, but its imaginary, well not really, but it is man made.

Knowledge is power, but don’t you see. We made knowledge. Numbers, time, language, music, technology, law, sports and medicine. Our entire life is filled with these ersatz topics, always evolving and each with their own rules and regulations regarding how to and how not to do specific things within each sub-topic. Don’t get me wrong we’re not trying to learn why medicine works and why time fits so perfectly, because it was already there, we just gave it a name. The reason for making synthetic things boils down to three areas: measure, entertain, control.

Measure: Like numbers we created time to measure how long it takes for the Earth to travel the sun, moon, etc. Time, for the most part, appears to be a convenience more than anything, a way of making sure that you can measure between when you leave and arrive and make it simpler than tracking shadows.

Entertain: Other than waiting to die, taking part in hobbies and entertaining ourselves and others around us seems the only way to make this fable more bearable and seems like a distraction from the purpose of our lives, if there is one.

Control: Rules and regulations are everywhere, religion, law, ethics. You name it. All to just control you and try prevent you from doing certain things. Whether or not it is right to say what someone can or can’t do or not to say what someone can and can’t do is up to you.

So at the end of the day, it is convenient that these distractions are in place, otherwise all we’d see is: murder, unwilling procreation and everyone lacking control, entertainment and no one being able to measure how bad that would really be compared to what we have now.