Tag Archives: Games

What ever happened to Altair?

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Lately, after boycotting the newest installment of the Assassins Creed franchise, I’ve started to doubt whether more should even be made – It feels like Call of Duty 4 all over again – Great game, overshadowed by terrible follow-ups!

It, similar to the recessive ginger gene, skipped the sequel: Assassins Creed 2. That game was tasty if not tastier than the original! But why has this once prestigious, respected game series been continually ruined with rushed extensions like ‘ Revelations’ and shoddy spin-offs like ‘Black Flag’ – where you start the game unknowingly as a Templar – excuse me Ubisoft? Those are the bad guys, why do I want to play as them?

What ever happened to the excruciatingly long-winded missions, that gripping story line which threw you off balance with masterfully planned twists and turns – too long has it been since I’ve been even remotely interested in what is happening – I’m sure at one point they were space beings, or something…And why have they felt the need to start killing off the best characters?

The simple fact is Ubisoft have turned a promising franchise into a laughing stock literally making people buy new editions just to see if they’ve brought the game back from the hideous abyss its found itself in.

They plain and simply should have made three. – Altair, Ezio, Desmond – That was how it was supposed to go down! Why did they ever feel the need to make so many games about Ezio, by the end he was in his deathbed waving his blades at nurses battling Alzheimers – it was just degrading.

In Ubisofts defence it claims that the games are based around a specific theme (Honor, Revenge, Justice, Answers, Freedom – in that order). But I feel cheated that the modern day assassin fighting in a world much like ours  has gone untold – only then will they be able to redeem themselves for making pansies of Desmond, Altair, and Ezio – a true disservice of the Creed.

New installment “Comet” lies just yonder of the Caribbean islands in the vast ocean of the Atlantic – sounds terrible already – you’re according to various sources playing as a Templar hero – nice work heretics! – They need to step up their game, this is getting ridiculous.

It would be in the interest of all the original fans, if Ubisoft just took some time out to figure out where they’re going with this wild crazy goose chase instead of thinking how many games can we make until we have to end the story; we’ve almost exhausted every historical inaccuracy there is.

Sort. It. Out. Ubisoft.

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The Inferno, Systematically Set Out In A Cirlce

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If you’ve ran out of awkward, uncomfortable party communication then, according to social convention, it is customary to locate yourself adjacent from one another and lie cards face down in a circle with a glass betwixt the inner edge of the south and north facing cards.

This inconvenient, cult-like custom has been adopted by university and drinkers a-like, in order to fashion a state in which they can neither differentiate between their innate inhibitions or their overly-eager sexual frustration with their co-inhabitants.

Revealing each card, leaves members in fits of laughter at the quantity of which the participants have to drink; leaving the conclusion of every card a point and stare situation at someone else’s expense. sick really; isn’t it?

The pain of playing can only be compared to the likes of eating nails or scratching the surface layer of a blackboard with your nails. The only way to finish the unrelenting “game” is by unearthing the fourth King from the rest of the pack.

Please stop the obsession. Peace.