Tag Archives: game

Power Rangers The Movie Drinking Game

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After coercing our film-loving, plot-illuminating housemate, Meg,  into watching the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. We decided that instead of watching this like the sober finches of the Galapagos, we would endure the ninety minute calamity-classic doing a shot every time we noticed a cliché catchphrase like “see ya later alligator” – Ivan Ooze, intentionally compromising pun “I’ve got a bone to pick with you” – White Power Ranger (whilst fighting dinosaur skeletons), and ridiculous music that is played over scenes of no importance at all.

So the rules are simple – a sip, of a prolonged duration for minor instances of cheesy: behaviour, lines, music, sayings, bad green screens – the key is to be understanding of where each incident could be categorically organized into a scale; so anything 5> would be sip and 6< would be a shot! The drink of course is your decision, the shot is always nice to have something between the strength of vodka but stronger than schnapps – not too much and not too little, that’s the dream!

After twenty minutes of rib-tickling, lip-smacking idioms of far too obvious description, a bottle and half of shots has been annihilated. Continuous hand shaking and rhino-mercenary but-kicking has lead me to believe that this is the future of student drinking games. Never before have over-dramatic news broadcasts, and villain-induced witticisms been so damaging to ones liver!

Just to mention: “uh oh, were in trouble” – is genuinely part of the soundtrack. They also have a giant red button which kick’s other specifically similar sized robots in the metal genitals – convenient.

During one scene, you may remember, a rhino explodes into thousand of pieces after being corkscrew kicked so hard – needless to say a lot of alcohol has been consumed. Not even mentioning the collective skating, hand shaking, cockpit-swaying, child-filled mono-railing, glass-shattering building shaking brilliance that the power rangers ensue,

One genuine issue about the film is the fist-pumping white ranger has to be the leader – of course, seems a little racist, considering the black ranger is reduced to being a frog! – well done Brian Spicer! Some may say it was a different time back then, others simply suggesting that being the black ranger surely the crotch is the most appropriate place for him – can hardly imagine the white ranger having an equally sized time down there – ah stereotypes.

So spread the word, drink the dream and think – what would Zordon do?!

Yes, Goat simulator exists!

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On the horizon is a semi-functioning simulator to let the user control a goat. The trailer which can be found on Youtube, features a bog-eyed, white-coated menace who has indirectly set a passer-by ablaze – It looks great. 

Although the developers have stated “Goat Simulator is a small, broken and stupid game. I t was made in a couple of weeks so don’t expect a game in the size and scope of GTA with goats.” I am very very excited – lets face it if we can spend endless hours trying to complete a game as backwards, time consuming and pointless as minesweeper, we can do anything!

Here are some of the in-game snap shots taken by developers:

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In respect for the game it was made in a couple of weeks and the developers have said that they are more than content with the bugs that are featured in the game – its an intention lark! A copious world ensnared with goat crime, good laughs and frankly moronic people. Image

 

Look at that goats mangles head, half in and out of that wooden cabinet – that is the goat I one day want to be!
Presuming the aim of the game is to cause the most damage or confusion within its weird, bright and wonderfully artistic goatie world – it couldn’t look more fun!

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Excuse me? – FIREWORKS, look how freaking high that goat is! – a photo that would best describe my facial expression is that one of Fry holding a wad of cash shouting “SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!” – ah, the internet. 

ImageIt can be seen clearly what the developers mean that the game is by no definition perfect, but that is the beauty of it surely. Who wants to play as a cleanly trimmed goat, frivolously trotting through life, eating grass and having a perpetual attitude for politeness and helpfulness, teaching younger goats how to play fair and count or crossing the road at a zebra crossing (that must be so confusing for a goat), or chewing with its mouth closed. – I think we can all agree that would suck. Image

Whilst playing it is possible to pull men/women onto an over spinning treadmill which propels their bodies into a car causing a rather dramatic explosion – generally following the same laws of physics as our lives. This goat can fly, glide and technically fall from wondrous heights – allowing users to spot the tremendous graphics that shape the goats world!
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What is even going on in this photo – will it stop being hilarious? It almost looks as though the person on the right has felt empathetic for the goat and in order for it to not feel out of place has put himself in a similar position – what an inspirational virtual man – like the Gandhi of goat simulator!

These screenshots of the game may not persuade you to part with your pennies but for a price of only $9.99 you can live your life as a goat, as developers say, for at least an hour – what better way to spend ten glorious goat pounds!

The worst thing is, I’ve always wondered what it would be like to be a goat, but now we know. (repeated with a lower register accentuating the seriousness of the situation) now we know!