Category Archives: Academic Anomalies

The job interview paradigm

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Recently, I went for an interview for a job to get me through university – just to earn some expendable dollar. It got me thinking how alien job interviews actually are:

For instance; It seems strange that you can base ability to work on hobbies and peoples ability to think on the spot? With questions like Can you think of a time you’ve worked in a team effectively? Almost everyday, like when an Xbox controller runs out of batteries and the four of you scourer around looking for other electrical items to steal their power source – but i’m 100% sure that doesn’t count as an example.

The fact that they evaluate how valuable you are to them, is like wearing a shop tag which has characteristics like: Long life guaranteed, not machine washable or can be used as an expensive equivalent of slave labour!

It’s strange that we just accept that this is how we get jobs now, there are other types of interviewing like group interview which actually seems almost worse than individual interviews. Trying to pick the sheep’s from the foxes!

The point I’m so unclearly making is interviews are condescending, charisma shattering and quite frankly an unfair representation of who you are?

We should start the revolution by going into interview interviewing the them, after all it is us who wants the job we should decide whether we want it or not, right? 

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The Accelerated Velocity of Neologisms

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How do new words come into common practice?
This article isn’t about the science of why or how words are created. This article is about the utilization of words that are unintentionally exercised and why we should be intentionally innovating additions to our own language.

After a recent trip North to the wispy breeze of Huddersfield, a fellow journalist had been working on his dissertation when he discovered there was a definite gap in our language for when the solution to the problem is also the problem – a clever concept that exists with no English way of describing such a situation. “Elusoquent” – Genius. The problem is that we are stuck in a mind set that our language is pretty much done; when, instead of waiting for words to crop up due to increased popularity and use, why not skip the waiting process and design and manipulate our own words. 

Inspired by this innovation I’ve started my own collection of words for experiences that are yet to be labelled:

Disinactulate – When an object is close enough to reach, but too far to do anything about. 

Tablective – When a group of smaller tables are used to collectively to make a larger table.

Forvulous – An adjective that encapsulated glasses that have no other function than fashion.

Oblicate – Agreeing to something that you have no intention of doing.

Shophoria – The euphoric feeling achieved after a comfort shop.

Cleartie – when an object is not quite clean, but clean enough to use.

There is an argument in language that states the way we see the world is either dictated by our language or accommodated by our language (Reflectivism vs. Determinism). So it begs the question that we should at least be innovators of our own view of the world? why describe something as tactile or frivolous when these words were written by people experiencing a completely different world to us? Of course i’m not saying lets write a new language, but why was Shakespeare labelled a genius for creating thousands of new words off the top of his head, when teachers constantly tell students that you can’t “make up words”? – but why?

I believe there is a need for these new words to describe a different way of seeing our world, whats better than addition to a language which is made up of Latin, French, German? – be an innovator, who wants to think the same anyways? 

Seeking Prestige

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Our human instinct (they definitely do exist) often shows a side of us that we would preferably not show. What I’ve come to realize is that Prestige runs through every walk of life. When you join a new friendship group, it is said, that you will accommodate your own idolect (an individuals ways of speaking) to fit into the group to try and gain prestige within the group, as well as that after a heavy night of lip-smacking tequilas and guzzling pints of ice cold suds acting out can often occur to impress and maybe gain trust within these groups – alcohol taking precedence and injecting a surge of animal instinct that pressures the actions of a drunk. This act of accommodation, shows itself when talking to the elderly, small children and even pets; relevantly it depends on the environment. Interestingly it displays how influential others around us are and highlights our need to prove ourselves, seeking this ultimate accolade that we so desperately seek – unknowingly, as it derives from our unconscious mind.

Maybe that is why we write blogs, take pictures, update statuses and tweet all for that three second adrenaline injection when a colleague/friend/family member/teacher/anonymous gives you your prestige and utters what we all crave inside – “well done”…ah how wonderfully glorious it feels for someone to announce their articulation and transmission of prestige and allowing you to enjoy your moment. There are two parties for an exchange of valor, after giving the individual their glory, the individual taking second command will realize their immediate jealousy of the other participants current achievement/act/accommodation, slowly sinking in and pressuring them to seek their own prestige – a never ending cycle jealous prestigious events.

Our distinct and definite need to impress and gain prestige only shows our imperfection as humans, and boils down to our innate desires and unconscious wishes, unfortunately for us this is unchangeable, the only solace we can take is to hope that one day evolution will allow us to give oneself their own prestige – lets hope.